There are a lot of really difficult parts of making a movie, where the rubber hit the road, like raising the money and depositing it into an escrow account. So, it’s time to introduce you to my own Personal Badass that’s gonna do the Shit I Don’t Want to Do.
I’d like to take a minute to describe my very own personal badass. We’re talking a sophisticated but very tough creature of Hollywood with social graces acquired from an aristocratic upbringing, and a great wardrobe. This badass has a massive network and the sparkling wit to charm them at virtual cocktail parties. Their raison d’etre is…to do all the shit that I don’t want to do. Mainly, that means, to raise the funds for this project and introduce me to celebrities and consequential movers and shakers in our industry who might want to get on board. But there are other things, too, like reviewing all the legal contracts, taking care of any super awkward conversations that I might want to avoid, stuff like that. My time is better spent elsewhere. I’m enjoying the rewrites, the character mindmaps, and I’m excited to cast the movie, develop the shotlists, and get back on set. But I want my Personal Badass who loves me and maintains 100% loyalty to go out and secure the investors and do all that business-type shit. Actually, they don’t have to love me, just greatly admire me above all filmmakers and actors, past and present. While they may not love me personally….they do love the script and believe in my unique voice and want to celebrate it and bring it to the world.
Ah, I’m so happy just thinking about this Personal Badass. It brings me inner peace and joy to know that all the shit that I don’t want to do will be taken care of by this highly qualified and motivated individual, who will work for a percentage of the profits that are sure to come, eventually. And I won’t even really need to watch them or pay attention. That’s because my own Personal Badass is 100% trustworthy.
Yeah, right.
To be fair, a few creative types really do find a kind of Personal Badass. Sometimes, it’s an agent or manager or a lawyer. Sometimes, it’s a bodyguard who moonlights as a drug dealer to the elite. Even for those lucky few who find a Personal Badass, beware. Badasses have a habit of not being motivated by benevolence or even by artistic merit. Usually, there’s something else going on, too. But more often, I’ve seen quality screenwriters and filmmakers cling to an adolescent hope that a Personal Badass is gonna come along to knock out all the worldly tasks so that “the artist” can exist in a state of pure creativity. I’ve been one of the people deceived by the seductive mirage of a Personal Badass. From experience, I can tell you that while that illusion feeds my ego, it stunts my growth into becoming a responsible, middle-aged adult. In the end, I believe seeing and facing your own challenges – as they are – makes for a more insightful filmmaker than attempting to build a cocoon and pass your glasses to a guy in a sharp suit whose underpaid interns set up Zoom meetings.
At this stage of my life, I don’t have time to entertain illusions. I need to get my movie made. So as for the Personal Badass, you’re looking at him. And here’s the thing. Even if my wardrobe needs updating and I don’t have the email address of the biggest venture capitalists in Silicon Valley, as I shoulder the ultimate responsibility for this film, I get to integrate 10 or 11 or 12% of that personal badass energy into myself. Then, others – who really are way more badass than I am – they start to see that. It’s kind of like a psychic lure that brings them closer. Maybe we will have a virtual cocktail and I’ll report that I’ve raised a portion of the funds and gotten partway down the track. A few of these Badasses might want to join up. Granted, at that point, they’re more like Fellow Badasses than the Personal Badass of my fantasy. Even so, we can chill, throw back a cappuccino and find some money to make movies together.
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